Sometimes, being a “wall” is the most effective way to handle a storm. Walls don’t argue with the wind; they just stand there. I notice the gale-force drama, but I choose to remain unmoving. It’s a striking way to maintain your dignity. When you don’t react, you force the other person to deal with their own reflection.
My lack of engagement isn’t a sign that I’m checked out. It’s a sign that I’m fully checked in to my own boundaries. I see the mess; I’m just not joining the cleanup crew.
There is a massive difference between a reflex and a response. A reflex is mindless; a response is a choice. When I stay quiet, I’m usually in the “processing” phase. I noticed the sting, but I’m choosing not to perform my hurt for an audience. It’s a mellow, striking form of self-respect.
By the time I do speak, if I speak at all, the emotion has been filtered through logic. Don’t mistake my stillness for a lack of feeling. I saw exactly what happened; I just refuse to let it dictate my next move.
We live in a world that demands a reaction for everything, a like, a comment, or a counter-argument. Choosing a “poker face” is a casual rebellion. I notice the shifts in the room and the hidden agendas, but I keep my cards close. It’s a mellow way to stay in control of the narrative.
If I don’t give you a reaction, you don’t know where I stand, which keeps my peace protected. It’s striking how much information you gather when you stop talking and start watching. I’m not oblivious; I’m just well-calibrated.
Think of your energy as a limited currency. Every reaction is a transaction, and frankly, some people aren’t worth the spend. When I don’t react to a provocation, it’s a mellow form of budgeting. I noticed the disrespect; I just decided it wasn’t worth the withdrawal from my mental bank account.
There is a striking freedom in being a witness without being a participant. You can observe the chaos without letting it move into your head. My silence isn’t a lack of sight; it’s a high-level filter for my own sanity.
There’s a common myth that silence equals ignorance. In reality, choosing not to react is often a sign of hyper-awareness. You see the subtle eye-roll, the passive-aggressive jab, and the shifted tone. You notice it all. But rather than handing over your peace as a prize, you process it internally.
It’s a striking power move to keep your composure when someone is fishing for a blowup. Just because I’m not providing the fireworks doesn’t mean I missed the spark. I’m just busy deciding if you’re worth the energy of a response.
I’ve seen bad texters respond quickly and write paragraphs.
I’ve seen people who “aren’t ready for a relationship” get ready in few conversations.
I’ve seen a girl proposing me in front of 24 friends to marry her ASAP on my birthday, who used to say “I DON’T NEED A MAN TO BE HAPPY” since 7 years. (Hello Lioness😜).
A healthy adult relationship is one where both people in the relationship give and both receive. There is a safe, equal and open exchange of ideas, communication, feelings, and thoughts and all perspectives are considered and valued. There is also the freedom to respectfully challenge, heal, confront, and strengthen one another.
At the end what matters is a TRUTHFUL CONSISTENT person who gets you, no matter what’s coming. If someone wants you, you won’t have to ask for effort.
Be strong, be kind, be free. Do things that make you proud of yourself. Surround yourself with people who bring out your best qualities. And distance yourself from the people who do the opposite. Hangout with people who are ready to exchange knowledge with enough understanding about what they are saying & why. For example; Don’t just follow someone’s words because they said “Investing in stock market/real estate/crypto will make you money/rich”. 95% of these people don’t even know how to multiply 12*13 without a calculator. Do you really think such dumbfucks can advice anyone on finance? Forget finance, if someone is saying something without knowing enough about it, that person is a complete fake nut. Stay away from such morons. Fun story: Most people who invest in bitcoin think it’s more like a virtual currency, but hardly few know it was designed as a medium of transaction. It’s more like Western Union Money Transfer.
Be true, true to yourself and true to your morals. Stand up for yourself. Don’t let people take advantage of your kindness and soft heart. Don’t take shit from anyone, and don’t put yourself down. Believe in yourself and believe in your journey. Be good to yourself. Be unapologetically you. Embrace your imperfections. Accept the fact that when you grow, sometimes you lose people and that’s okay. Celebrate your every success and learn from failure. Learn to accept that, first you have to learn a lot about anything & everything before jumping in. And most importantly, never ever let anything stand in the way of the person you are becoming. BE A TRUE YOU. (Not my words).
Stay away from people with negative vibe & toxic mindset. Here is a HOW TO or WHOM TO;
1. Entertain those who exchange attention & mutual admiration.
2. Stay away from “Dry texters”, these kind of people can figure out a problem in everything that’s soothing to your head or heart. The thing is, they are just not interested in you. The earlier you understand, the better. Read more on this by clicking here. In general, every conversation with a dry texter is a pointless nonsense, it’s going nowhere. If communication sucks, just cut it or back off humbly.
3. Also stay away from those whose screen time in instagram is more than 4 minutes a day. (Most successful people don’t even use such apps in their phone, they have hired agencies to keep fools stuck to create a brand value for their name. And i bet you don’t want a fool in your life).
4. If someone’s social circle is too random, that’s a sign of major inconsistency in their personality.
5. Never believe those who say bullshits like; “MONEY IS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL, I WOULD RATHER FOCUS ON LOVE OR FAMILY”. These are the double whammy of fickleness & fake ideology. We are living in 2021, a happy LOVE & a happy FAMILY both come with a bill.
Enough said about what not to. Click here to read a previous post on what are the green signals of a healthy humanly equation. Hope you have a good one.
Tap ON (Tapan) 
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