Tag: love

Sunday story time.. 03.

A high school teacher once said;
“Being close & open to your opposite sex is important, you become more transparent, there’s no insecurities which makes you more confident. Later that also helps you build better relationship/friendships”.
I took those words bit too seriously i guess.
Even though my name is bit spoiled with university girls, I haven’t dated many in my almost close to 30 life. Actually i never missed dating someone. Being an extrovert & a LEO, I always had/have options to choose with whom i want to hangout/party/travel/workout/get cozy/watch Netflix/movie night/go hiking or shopping.

Now back to the story/confession/realisation, here it goes:
Way back when I was getting over a breakup, I used to spend most of my night filled with anger & a boyish temper. I didn’t realize it back then, I had so much to achieve in my life & such negative feelings weren’t helping. I wondered why she was able to get over faster than I was. Later I realised, it’s because I was spending so much time hating that situation rather than getting over it.

Anyone from my university friends scratching their head which breakup i am talking about; it’s my bestfriend DEMI. We are bestfriends since 7th century, but we have a mad crazy past. We dated for a very short period of time, I wasn’t ready for a COMMITMENT & i literally thought we were just fooling around. Fault was mine. I said YES to 4 girls for prom night & 2 out of those 4 were our seniors. I was expecting DEMI will be cool with it. To fight back & make me jealous, DEMI went on a date with one of my friends named Ivan. Being a loyal bro, Ivan asked my permission whether he is allowed to take DEMI out for a full monty brunch. DEMI didn’t like her date. She wanted to patch what fell apart in between us, but i was more focused with my studies & part-time job. I didn’t care much because i am the kinda guy who’s happy when my bank account grows, my life is more about my growth rather than allowing someone to mess with my piece of peace. Let’s say, I am a happy man because i am married to my bank account.

It became a runner/chaser situation for a week. Sad to say, i was the runner. One saturday evening it was snowing really bad. It was a lightbulb moment for me, I invited DEMI to try my homemade sourdough pizza. It wasn’t tasty like store-bought pizza, but we both ate it with pin drop silence. That was my first try with sourdough fermentation. Next day DEMI came to my apartment early morning, we followed another recipe from some website & we baked that pizza perfectly. We both were upset about each other’s behaviour. An amazing conversation after a good pizza helped us heal. We both got the closure & clarity we needed.

Coming back to this current day called TODAY, the only person who still sits on my lap is DEMI. I can ask her for a head & back massage anytime i want. We go on long drives. It’s a weddings/royal dinner invitations/travelling to some islands during weekends, we are each other’s +1 partner. If weather is not ok, we make it better by cuddling/spooning each other. 3-4 times she suggested whether we can date again! And as usual, I am not ready for dating experiments. But we already have an amazing equation, i don’t want to destroy that by allowing some romantic melodrama. We have a verbal agreement, there’s a sweet punishment if we miss each other’s phonecall or facetime. Last time i missed DEMI’s call when i was attending a university seminar, i had to send a butt naked snapchat streak to all my 186 friends as punishment. Our communication is flawless. The truth is, it took us a long time to build the amazing equation we share & i am not strong enough to hurt her. If i know someone who is TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT so far in my life, it’s DEMI. Now there’s nothing except RESPECT & ADMIRATION towards each other.

Takeaway:
Whatever struggle you are facing in your life,
make sure you are not poisoning yourself with anger when you could be giving yourself love.
When you are filled with anger or hate,
the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don’t know it and the rest don’t care.
Fill yourself with SELF-LOVE & SUCCESS before you are in search of LOVE.

Tap OUT..🖖

True me.. Tap-826..

Few ways you can express how you feel towards someone;

1. I love you.
2. I need you.
3. I want you.
4. I want to be with you.
5. I don’t want to be without you.
6. I can’t live without you.
7. I miss you.

NEED, needs can be met somewhere else & being needy means being weak as well.
LOVE, this word is highly misused by people & especially someone like me needs a year to trust after a year of healing.
WANT is my favourite & number-3 is my pick out of all these 7.
WANT is that animalistic desire inside.
Which means i know i have few suitors/options, but who cares because it’s you and just you that i WANT for myself.
In case you love someone, remind them constantly & consistently that YOU WANT THEM.

Last time someone said “I WANT YOU” to me was on my birthday.
I haven’t replied that till now.
Never rushed towards anyone.
Never allowed anyone to rush towards me either.
The simple reason is;
“If someone is investing their time & energy on me, that person deserves a whole TAP”.
I am that kind of a person who hides nothing.
My only secrets are my bank account/credit card pin or my email/social media account passwords.
And right now, i am still in that phase of healing i mentioned above.

Whenever i say “LIONESS” in my posts, it’s my appreciation to that person who understands where i am coming from & why.
Appreciated for picking/dropping me at airport.
Appreciated for taking me out to my favourite brunch.
Appreciated for buying me a pair of white vans kicks after watching squid games.
Appreciated for helping me with carwash.
Appreciated for typing my thesis.
Very few people come with a clean heart & no stupid outlandish expectations.
So LIONESS, Like your favourite alphabet is T, my favourite word is “APPRECIATION”.
Rest all are a LEO-LEO thing i guess.😜
Every relationship of your life is a major investment of time & energy.
Take your sweet time, that says all about who’s who.

Tap OUT..🤗

True me.. Tap-821..

Despite what you may believe,
you can disappoint people and still be good enough.
You can make mistakes and still be capable and talented.
You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love.

Everyone has disappointed someone they care about.
Everyone messes up,
lets people down,
and makes mistakes.

Not because we’re inadequate or fundamentally inept,
but because we’re imperfect and fundamentally HUMAN.
Expecting anything different is setting yourself up for failure.
Also remember; committing the same mistake twice is not the sign of a healthy mind.
Keep that in mind & keep moving forward. (Not my words).

(This video got nothing to do with the post above. Stopping a mother from dropping her kid to school is the worst kinda crap you can slap on someone in the name of protecting environment. Sometimes people go bit too far with these environmental protection related protests. You aren’t allowed to deteriorate normal people’s life. Insulate Britain, protest in front of government officials or government offices where words can reach the right place.)

Tap OUT..✌️

True me.. Tap-818..

You have to chase the things that ignite you.
You have to do the things that bring you joy.
You have to surround yourself with the people who bring you back home to yourself, with the people who respect you and embrace you in ways that make you feel like you are worthy and accepted and celebrated and loved.
You have do the work to heal yourself,
even when it hurts especially when it hurts,
so that you do not continue to approach your life within the boundary of what is heavy within you.
You have to put yourself out there,
and you cannot worry about what other people think,
you cannot rob yourself of experience or happiness or inspiration because you are scared of how you will be perceived.
You have to be unapologetic in the way that you exist here.
You have to believe that your ideas, and your hope, and your being, deserve to take up space.
You have to believe that you have purpose.

Because our existence is finite.
And as hard as that is to understand,
as hard as that can be to connect with,
from time to time remind yourself that in the most human way we are all living on borrowed time.
We live as if we are promised the experiences and the potential we are chasing,
we live as if we have control over what happens to us.
But we don’t, and that is liberating,
because it is pressing there is urgency within the lesson.
It is meant to wake you up.
Life is meant to be lived. (Not my words).

Tap OUT..✌️

True me.. Tap-817..

In LOVE, I have been elated and brokenhearted and felt every emotion in between.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to embrace the painful parts, because I realize they make me stronger and they are just parts of life.
It hurts to power through the rough times but just like a muscle, it must be exercised before it’s able to become stronger.

Think about a specific painful moment in your life,
and then think about how that feeling didn’t last forever even though you thought it would.
Remember that life will continue to go on and time really does heal all wounds.
I’m grateful for all the love and all the heartache I’ve experienced in my life.
Both have been equally wonderful.

Tap OUT..🤗

True me.. Tap-816..

Get honest with people about who you are,
what you want,
and how you expect to be treated.
Standards only scare off the people not meant for you.

Some people have a problem,
they can’t digest respect & good vibes.
Stay away from those,
such people don’t deserve your LOVE or ATTENTION.

My bestfriend DEMI asked me yesterday “whether i will stop hanging out with her after i get a girlfriend/partner/wife or someone significant?”. I am answering this with few lines, so that she can bookmark & read it as many times she wants. I hide nothing from no one.

Here’s my answer:
My blood’s origin goes back to an eastern state of India called ODISHA. Since childhood i was taught few things which are embedded in my mind now:

1. Study, learn, get qualified & make lots of money with that knowledge. Because society is either judgemental or materialistic which respects power of MONEY & KNOWLEDGE.
2. Live for love, respect, family, and LOVE+RESPECT towards family. That’s why we have huge families.
3. MONEY you made mustn’t be used to flex in front of others. Use it to keep your family happy.
4. Invest in gold & land, this is the big kicker. That’s the reason most Indian men crave to buy more than one property & Indian women are obsessed with 24 carat pure gold jewelleries.😂 That’s all.

So one day when i enter a stable relationship, the sole purpose is to start my own family someday soon or sooner. I know whom & what to prioritise. But remember one thing dumb bitch, i feel like i know you since my past life. You are not just my bestfriend, i consider you family. You will always have 24/7 access to my house, my lap, a piggyback ride to beach & access to me no matter it’s pouring/sunny/snowing. Don’t get emotional DEMI, we are not discussing anything about this post during facetime.

Tap OUT..✌️

True me.. Tap-814..

Mama once said;
“We don’t just entertain friends/relationships outta fun, we build them over time, we respect them & we keep them. That’s why never accept or serve discounted garbage“.

I was in my teen days.
I was still getting pocket money from parents.
I wasn’t able to understand those heavyweight words (right words).
I thought my mum was talking about not buying discounted clothes/stuffs or wasting money on fastfood with friends during weekend trips.
Most of my friends know i hate discounted clothes now too. In fact, i don’t have a single piece of clothing from any fast fashion brands.

Coming closer to my 30, now i am understanding that she told me not to hangout with people who have discounted/cheap personality/approach/attitude/mindset, It took me almost 14 years to figure out the real meaning behind those wise words.
Being a MAN means progression/consistency of understanding, knowledge, acceptance & virtue while developing better habits.

(This video got nothing to do with the post above. Watch it to understand how your shopping habits are shaping a climate & humanitarian disaster. There’s a reason I never buy clothes from H&M, Zara, TK Maxx or any store/brand with 50% discount board. I buy clothes which cost at least a hundred quid or more, and i wear them for ages. They stay with me because, I know I have spent enough money to buy them. And i fully remember how much I paid, I have a photographic memory. Fun part is, I still have t-shirts, jackets, hoodies & sneakers from my 8th grade & engineering college days which fit perfectly even today. Half of them are stolen by my bestfriend DEMI, but I have no complaints on that, that stealing must continue, sometimes she looks good in my clothes & I adore her for good reasons. FYI, I am a sneakerhead & my love for watches is something divine.)

Tap..✌️

True me.. Tap-811..

Keep the honest moments close to your heart.
The ones that are the most human.
When you laugh until your ribs ache with your friends,
when you feel stars exploding inside of you from falling in love,
when life breaks you open and those tears of transformation pour like a river from your soul.
Life is really quite simple.
We get to experience this planet for a brief while.
We get to learn how to love ourselves and one another for the strange, messy, and magical creatures we are.
What a gift it is to have a human life.
If you look a little closer, there is always something to be grateful for.
True gratitude isn’t ignoring the darkness.
It’s participating with your whole heart in whatever moment life brings.
It’s leaning into the unfolding process and having the courage to not need all of the answers.

LIVE for the MOMENTS you can’t PUT into WORDS. (Not my words).

(This paragraph got nothing to do with the post above. Whoever thinks something brewing between TAP & DEMI after seeing my snapchat stories, i am SORRY to disappoint you once again. Actually I was trying to teach her horseriding, but later i had to calm down the horse because DEMI scared him. She scared a canadian warmblood within 5 minutes. And i am afraid of her since the fall of Holy Polish empire. We are bestfriends, that’s all. SORRY MY ROYAL BITCH, YOU KNOW I HATE YOU.😋😘)

Tap OUT..✌️