I’ve reached a point in my life where people’s words or actions mean close to nothing.
If I don’t see a consistent behaviour, it ain’t true.
The end.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. Rude Buddha, one of my favourite sketches from SNL. This video is 8 years old, there’s Karen, Nirvana spelled wrong as Nivrana & 11ish in it.)
I’ve seen busy people make time.
I’ve seen bad communicators communicate well.
I’ve seen bad texters respond quickly and write paragraphs.
I’ve seen people who “aren’t ready for a relationship” get ready in few conversations.
I’ve seen a girl proposing me in front of 24 friends to marry her ASAP on my birthday, who used to say “I DON’T NEED A MAN TO BE HAPPY” since 7 years.
(Hello Lioness😜).
A healthy adult relationship is one where both people in the relationship give and both receive.
There is a safe, equal and open exchange of ideas, communication, feelings, and thoughts and all perspectives are considered and valued.
There is also the freedom to respectfully challenge, heal, confront, and strengthen one another.
At the end what matters is a TRUTHFUL CONSISTENT person who gets you, no matter what’s coming.
If someone wants you, you won’t have to ask for effort.
Tap OUT..♌
How rare the trust is these days, how small the case looks like a strong bond based on openness and honesty, how small the chance seems to be a bit of loyalty and commitment?!?
Even smaller is the chance of a combination of the above, smaller and almost rare.
We all want it, in fact we all call it.
We claim to be loyal, to be open, to be honest,
but if we are all, how does distrust arise?
The disappointment?
The abuse of trust and the use of someone else?
Whether it’s love, friendship or family.
We all want the same thing.
We all want respect, trust, honesty, communication, openness and loyalty consistently.
Be aware of your choices, your actions and consequences before you harm a relationship, a relationship that is self-reliant today.
If you want them to be true to you, then stay true to yourself first. (Not my words).
Tap OUT..💪
Find someone who loves you well.
Someone who never belittles you even in the heat of an argument.
Someone who is gentle with you, but does not treat you like you are fragile.
Someone who knows what you are capable of, and celebrates those pieces of you.
Not someone who is intimidated by your strength.
Someone who doesn’t make you feel guilty for being flawed.
It is not love’s job to punish you.
And remember the person you love is just as broken as you are when they fall short.
No one is perfect do not hold them to this standard.
Find someone who is patient, consistent, forgiving, and apologetic.
Someone who practices forgiveness freely and often.
Love someone who is humble, kind, and empathetic.
Not only with you, but with a beggar on the street, or a stranger in the supermarket.
Common courtesy is important.
Compassion is important.
Kindness is important.
Now that i mentioned something about relationships twice in a day, my university friends will again start questioning whether i am seeing someone! Let me answer even before that question pops up. Most of my posts are scheduled a month advance. Typing these two paragraphs today right before the post goes live.
I entertained something inconsistent for a while. Whatever happened, I am not strong enough to blame or hate anyone. Let’s say, that was my fault. I am in the process of becoming single. In Snapchat, if you see my hands resting on some girl’s fine 🍑, high chances it’s either my bestie DEMI or my neighbour girl. Yes, i have a ting towards athletic girls.♌ But I don’t have a TYPE whom i want to date. First i have to be ready, next the connection must vibe positivity & remain consistent, that’s all. The most beautiful part about a girl where my heart goes little weak; when i feel she is grabbing my arms little stronger looking into my eyes with a wide big bright smile, while crossing baby/kid’s clothing section in shopping malls. Everyone knows i adore kids, they are angelic to me. 2023 goal is to become the best A+ dad world has ever seen, and i will settle to be a good B+ boyfriend/husband i guess.😂
Tap OUT..✌️
Mama once said;
“When someone has options in LOVE, he/she has no LOVE, no STANDARDS & no SELF-RESPECT. It’s just cheap character at play”.
I second this one.
If your relationship to the present moment is not right, nothing can ever be right in the future.
Because when the future comes, it’s the present moment.
– Eckhart Tolle.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. During Syria & Yemen crisis, EU absorbed almost half million refugees/migrants. Current data shows almost 160,000 of those have just gone missing/out of records. Nobody knows whether they are dead, turned into angels or terrorists. I guess it’s right time to take a strong stance against illegal migration at every part of the world. Corona virus cases are going high once again & winter is around, no one is ready for more bullshit.)
You deserve someone who can’t WAIT to talk to you
& spend time with you
& get to know you
& fall in love with you.
Stop settling for halfhearted, lukewarm, hesitant, inconsistent & indecisive.
It’s soooooooooo much better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you FEEL ALONE.
Some people love you.
Some people love to be around you.
Some love what you can do for them.
Understand the difference.
Learn the difference between connection and attachment.
One brings consistency, the other is fakefuckery.
One gives you power, the other sucks the life out of you.
A high school teacher once said;
“Being close & open to your opposite sex is important, you become more transparent, there’s no insecurities which makes you more confident. Later that also helps you build better relationship/friendships”.
I took those words bit too seriously i guess.
Even though my name is bit spoiled with university girls, I haven’t dated many in my almost close to 30 life. Actually i never missed dating someone. Being an outrageous extrovert, I always had/have options to choose with whom i want to hangout/party/travel/workout/get cozy/watch Netflix/movie night/go hiking or shopping.
Now back to the story/confession/realisation, here it goes:
Way back when I was getting over a breakup, I used to spend most of my night filled with anger & a boyish temper. I didn’t realize it back then, I had so much to achieve in my life & such negative feelings weren’t helping. I wondered why she was able to get over faster than I was. Later I realised, it’s because I was spending so much time hating that situation rather than getting over it.
Anyone from my high school/university friends scratching their head over which breakup i am talking about; it’s my bestfriend DEMI. We are bestfriends since 7th century, but we share a hilariously mad crazy past. We dated for a very short period of time, I wasn’t ready for any serious COMMITMENT & I literally thought we were just fooling around. Fault was mine. I said YES to 4 girls for prom night & 2 out of those 4 were our seniors. I was expecting DEMI will be cool with it. To fight back & make me jealous, DEMI went on a date with one of my friends named Ivan. Being a loyal bro, Ivan asked my permission whether he is allowed to take DEMI out for a full monty brunch. DEMI didn’t even like her date idea & she dumped Ivan even before their first date ended. She tried twice to patch what fell apart in between us, meanwhile i was more focused with my part-time job & my studies because exams were nearby. I didn’t care much because i am the kinda guy who’s happy when my bank account grows, my life is more about my growth rather than allowing someone to mess with my piece of peace. Let’s say, I am a happy man because i am married to my bank account.
It became a runner/chaser situation for a week. Sad to say i was the runner. There was a period of silent treatment. Once again DEMI told me she wants her bestfriend back. Next day was saturday, that evening it was snowing really bad which was a lightbulb moment for me, I invited DEMI to try my homemade sourdough pizza. It wasn’t tasty like store-bought pizza, but we both ate it with pin drop silence. That was my first try with sourdough fermentation. Next day DEMI came to my apartment early morning, we followed another recipe from some website & we baked that pizza perfectly. We both were upset about each other’s behaviour. An amazing conversation after a good pizza helped us heal. We both got the closure & clarity we needed.
Coming back to this current day called TODAY, DEMI is the only person who sits on my lap even without asking. I usually ask her for a head or back massage anytime i wish. We go on long drives, surfing, rock climbing & paragliding pretty often. We fight for last slice of pizza or last dorito chips. All weddings/royal dinner invitations/travelling to some nearby islands during weekends, we are each other’s +1 partner. If weather is not ok, we make it better by cuddling each other. 3-4 times she suggested whether we can date again! And as usual my response remains the same. I am not ready for dating experiments, because it’s usually 6-8 months to get in & then another next 6-8 months to come out, it’s a waste of whole year. And I don’t believe in second chances. But the truth is; we already have an amazing equation, i don’t want to destroy that by allowing some romantic melodrama. We have a verbal agreement, there’s a sweet punishment if we miss each other’s phonecall or facetime. Last time i missed DEMI’s call when i was attending a university seminar, as punishment i had to send a butt naked snapchat streak to all 86 girls from engineering school/university. Our communication is flawless. It took us a long time to build the amazing equation what we share & i am not strong enough to hurt her. If i know someone who is TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT so far in my life, that’s DEMI. Now there’s nothing except RESPECT & ADMIRATION towards each other.
Takeaway:
Whatever struggle you are facing in your life,
make sure you are not poisoning yourself with anger when you could be giving yourself positivity.
When you are filled with anger or hate,
the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don’t even know it and the rest don’t care.
Fill yourself with SELF-LOVE & SUCCESS before you are in search of LOVE.
Tap..🖖
A high school teacher once said;
“Being close & open to your opposite sex is important, you become more transparent, there’s no insecurities which makes you more confident. Later that also helps you build better relationship/friendships”.
I took those words bit too seriously i guess.
Even though my name is bit spoiled with university girls, I haven’t dated many in my almost close to 30 life. Actually i never missed dating someone. Being an extrovert & a LEO, I always had/have options to choose with whom i want to hangout/party/travel/workout/get cozy/watch Netflix/movie night/go hiking or shopping.
Now back to the story/confession/realisation, here it goes:
Way back when I was getting over a breakup, I used to spend most of my night filled with anger & a boyish temper. I didn’t realize it back then, I had so much to achieve in my life & such negative feelings weren’t helping. I wondered why she was able to get over faster than I was. Later I realised, it’s because I was spending so much time hating that situation rather than getting over it.
Anyone from my university friends scratching their head which breakup i am talking about; it’s my bestfriend DEMI. We are bestfriends since 7th century, but we have a mad crazy past. We dated for a very short period of time, I wasn’t ready for a COMMITMENT & i literally thought we were just fooling around. Fault was mine. I said YES to 4 girls for prom night & 2 out of those 4 were our seniors. I was expecting DEMI will be cool with it. To fight back & make me jealous, DEMI went on a date with one of my friends named Ivan. Being a loyal bro, Ivan asked my permission whether he is allowed to take DEMI out for a full monty brunch. DEMI didn’t like her date. She wanted to patch what fell apart in between us, but i was more focused with my studies & part-time job. I didn’t care much because i am the kinda guy who’s happy when my bank account grows, my life is more about my growth rather than allowing someone to mess with my piece of peace. Let’s say, I am a happy man because i am married to my bank account.
It became a runner/chaser situation for a week. Sad to say, i was the runner. One saturday evening it was snowing really bad. It was a lightbulb moment for me, I invited DEMI to try my homemade sourdough pizza. It wasn’t tasty like store-bought pizza, but we both ate it with pin drop silence. That was my first try with sourdough fermentation. Next day DEMI came to my apartment early morning, we followed another recipe from some website & we baked that pizza perfectly. We both were upset about each other’s behaviour. An amazing conversation after a good pizza helped us heal. We both got the closure & clarity we needed.
Coming back to this current day called TODAY, the only person who still sits on my lap is DEMI. I can ask her for a head & back massage anytime i want. We go on long drives. It’s a weddings/royal dinner invitations/travelling to some islands during weekends, we are each other’s +1 partner. If weather is not ok, we make it better by cuddling/spooning each other. 3-4 times she suggested whether we can date again! And as usual, I am not ready for dating experiments. But we already have an amazing equation, i don’t want to destroy that by allowing some romantic melodrama. We have a verbal agreement, there’s a sweet punishment if we miss each other’s phonecall or facetime. Last time i missed DEMI’s call when i was attending a university seminar, i had to send a butt naked snapchat streak to all my 186 friends as punishment. Our communication is flawless. The truth is, it took us a long time to build the amazing equation we share & i am not strong enough to hurt her. If i know someone who is TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT so far in my life, it’s DEMI. Now there’s nothing except RESPECT & ADMIRATION towards each other.
Takeaway:
Whatever struggle you are facing in your life,
make sure you are not poisoning yourself with anger when you could be giving yourself love.
When you are filled with anger or hate,
the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don’t know it and the rest don’t care.
Fill yourself with SELF-LOVE & SUCCESS before you are in search of LOVE.
Tap OUT..🖖
Tap ON (Tapan) 
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